Yesterday one of my associates, "Billy the Kid," a young man of 19, was manning the fitting rooms. We recently put keyed locks on all of the doors. A man approached with items to try on. My associate took the man to a room and opened the door. The man entered the room, turned back around and said, "Thanks. Wanna join me?"

Newsflash to all you nasty, creepy pedophilic homosexual men out there; the fitting room at Levi's is NOT the place to get a date!!!!

That About Sums it Up...

A few days ago I spent well over an hour helping a French couple pick out jeans, both for her and for him.

By the time they were done shopping, I was helping out at the register, so I got to ring them up as well. As I was scanning their purchases, the man said what I think may be the number one most universal truth in retail. (Remember, he's French.) He said:

"Man, 4 pantalon, 5 minutes. Woman, 1 pantalon, 2 hours!"

SO TRUE!!!!

All Me, Baby!

I like to bring my own personal passion into everything I do, so here's my homage to the Nuggets vs. Lakers NBA Western Conference Finals series.

It's really fun to do stuff like this in the women's department because no one ever notices!

Nuggets

Lakers

I think the Nuggets manequin is WAY cuter, but you know, I might be just a tad biased...

FLAVOR-FLAV!!!!

That's right...this is a genuine pic of Flavor-Flav and "Jedi," one of my associates. Gotta love D-list celebrity sightings!

REAL Pictures!

Here's a taste of what I really do for all (3) of my readers. These are pictures of my Mother's Day set at the front of the store.

PUBLIC NUDITY IS UNACCEPTABLE!

My roommate advised that I write this post in "fleshtones." I know this is kinda yellow, but it was the closest I could find to beige.

Tonight a man came in wearing a top that he had purchased earlier in our store. It was a man's tank top, and not the most masculine at that. It did NOT look good on him, but was better than the shirt he was wearing when he came in the first time (a smock-type top with a bright African-inspired print on it.)

Anyway, he comes up to me with three more of the "man-tanks" in his hand, two that still have sensors on them, and tells me that he just bought two of these shirts and would like to exchange them because his wife says they are too tight. I tell him I'll take care of it and ask where the other top is that he would like to exchange.

He proceeds to TAKE OFF THE SHIRT HE'S WEARING and hand it to me saying, "Right here."

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?! When did it become acceptable to take off your clothes at the register and ask to exchange them?!?!?!

Parle Vous Francais?

Today we had a French invasion! Everyone was French and no one spoke a word of English. Fun times for us!

So I was cashiering on one side of the counter and one of my associates was on the other side, so that we're back to back. His customer was one of very few English speakers. My customers, of course, were French. His customer overheard mine and said, in English, "Oh, they're French!" They heard him and started trying to speak French to him. He then told us that he's French Canadian. They kept speaking French to him. It was HILLARIOUS listening to him try to recall proper French to tell them that he doesn't speak proper French.

You probably had to be there, but it really was funny!