Where did you think you were?!?!

A man made a purchase with a credit card the other day (he was foreign, of course) and when the box came up for him to sign with the total underneath, he actually asked, "Is this total in dollars?"

Of course my actual response was "Yes," but here are some examples of what I wanted to say:

• No, it's pesos, of course
• Actually, it's in Euros. My circa 1990 register automatically detects where you're from by bouncing a satellite feed off of an alien spaceship and adjusts the total accordingly.
• I'm sorry, sir, if you don't know where you are, I'd be happy to try to find you a map...THIS IS AMERICA! WE USE DOLLARS!!!!

Good thing I'm able to hold my tongue until I can come home and blog it out.